The 3 Relationships are as follows:
– Your relationship to fear and emotional pain.
– Your relationship to desire and self-expression.
– Your relationship to action, intuition, and manifestation.
PHASE 1 – Your Relationship to Fear and Emotional Pain.
Your inner-world of thoughts, emotions, wounds, traumas, doubts, insecurities, and more, can be a scary one. Many simply do not know how to address their thoughts and emotions successfully.
Something I want you to think about is this, Life (the infinite intelligence) is not afraid of itself because it is aware of itself as The Self, as Oneness. And so, because of this, there is nothing to fear, there is no uncertainty.
However, for the human experience, we do not have this awareness and knowing. Quite the opposite. We experience ourselves as alone and separate beings. What is happening within us (traumas, emotions, thoughts) are feared because they are not known.
When we fear fear, we fight it. When we fear emotional pain, we suppress it. And when we fight and fear both, we suffer.
All of this takes place due to an unhealthy and dysfunctional relationship to fear and pain. The core of this first phase of the work is changing this relationship, as this is when you’ll get the rest and inner-peace you’re looking for.
Having a poor relationship to fear and pain will look like being stressed, tired, up in your head always thinking about something, unsure of how to deal with your emotions, and so you distract.
Life is either busy busy for you, or not but you’re bored, but either way you’re stressed.
You struggle to sit down and rest/relax as you always feel guilty doing so. Rarely are you ever calm and present in the moment. Something is always ticking over in your mind even when you’re in conversation.
What you’re wanting is to deeply rest, to slow down, to relax and to just be still. To let life pass by without a care or worry in the world and to enjoy the peace and freedom that being present in the moment has to offer.
The more you explore the depths of your inner world, the less you will fear it, and the automatic result is more joy in life.
Changing your relationship to fear and pain is how to do this.
PHASE 2 – Your Relationship to Desire and Self-Expression.
Having gone through the work of Phase 1 where you are no longer driven by avoiding your pain and achieving success for the purpose of gain, approval, and so on… you will find yourself at a place of internal stillness where the questions that need to be answered are;
What do I want?
Who do I want to be?
What do I want to create?
What do I want to do?
What do I want to express?
This is when you begin to truly tap into your desires and self-expression without having them shadowed and suppressed by all the old conditioning that has been released in Phase 1. Your self-value grows making you more attractive energetically, your self-approval raises meaning that others end up feeling drawn to you, and overall you become more confident within yourself.
What’s important to understand about desire and self-expression is that they are the most authentic and vulnerable statements of WHO YOU ARE, and this is why many steer clear of them.
Because when you’re hustling away in a job you don’t love but making good money, you can hide behind the justifications of:
– Gotta pay the bills somehow
– I earn good money
– Don’t know what I’d do otherwise
– I’ve got a mortgage to pay
And so on…
Who you are, what you’re doing, and who you’re being is being JUSTIFIED in one way or other. Consciously or unconsciously this is a way of protecting yourself from judgement and avoiding responsibility for your situation.
Taking the time to connect to what you want and then FOLLOWING it is what will bring you the purpose, meaning, joy, fulfilment and satisfaction that you are seeking. Because doing what you WANT, being who you WANT to be, and spending time with the people you WANT to spend time with is the fastest way to happiness.
Desire is the creative force that moves the entire Universe forward, always creating, and yet, it is very common as humans to have a lot of shame, guilt, shadow, embarrassment and more around our desires.
There is a feeling on some level that they’re wrong, or selfish, or lazy, or bad, and that if they were to be seen by the world we would be judged and rejected.
An unhealthy relationship to desire and self-expression is what’s got you feeling hollow and empty inside, because you’re not connected to WHO YOU ARE, instead you’re wearing the mask of who you think you need to be.
Following your desires is fun, trusting them, believing in them, giving yourself permission to have them, is a fun ride and is what brings you joy, excitement, fulfilment, challenge, variety and adventure into your life.
This is where you feel comfortable in your own skin, relaxed and calm in social settings, and when you connect to the work that you want to bring to the world
A healthy relationship to desire and self-expression is how to achieve and experience such things.
PHASE 3 – Your Relationship to Action, Intuition, and Manifestation.
An unhealthy relationship in Phase 3 looks like being busy all the time, constantly being up in your head over-analysing everything, and working a lot harder and longer than you need to.
You’ll find yourself saying things like:
– What else needs to get done?
– What more can I do?
– I feel like something’s missing
And so on…
And you’ll be wanting steps 1 through 10 all laid out in front of you. You’ll be doubting the process and afraid of actually trusting and following your intuition because you’re afraid of looking silly, foolish, or irresponsible.
This keeps you in the loop and ‘safety’ of action. Thinking that surely if I just do more I’ll be able to create more, but this comes at the cost of your freedom, lifestyle, time and balance.
Everything is about work here, because you have limited beliefs around what it takes to create. The dysfunction is that your limited beliefs don’t believe in play, fun, rest, time off etc… as they can’t SEE how that’s going to produce the results you’re after.
But, when it comes to the manifestation process, your part in it is knowing WHAT you want, Life’s part in it is delivering the HOW it happens. An unhealthy relationship to action, intuition, and manifestation doubts the how and gets stuck in the process, which results in slowing it down.
A healthy relationship to action, intuition, and manifestation trusts the process, which not only speeds it up, but gives you the time, space, freedom, balance and lifestyle that allows your life to be about more than just work.
This is when you play more sports, read more books, spend more time in nature, go away camping, travel, explore new hobbies and interests and really have fun. Your life takes on a richness and fullness which is very different from the fullness of chaotic busy busy.
You begin to handle MORE with less effort.
Any experience of stress, busyness, emptiness, over-thinking, working in a job or business you don’t feel connected to, never having time to yourself, being burnt-out and tired, lacking purpose and meaning, and the list could go on, can be traced back to an unhealthy/dysfunctional relationship to one or more of The 3 Relationships.
A life of meaning, purpose, freedom, travel, adventure, fulfilment, peace, joy, and so much more is achieved through creating healthy and functional relationships to fear and emotional pain, desire and self-expression, and action, intuition, and manifestation.
This might happen for you in 3 months, it might happen in 6, or maybe it’s a 12 month journey.
Whatever it is for you, these are the areas of your inner world that I suggest you focus on. A proven, results-based system to personal transformation that leads to external world changes.
If you feel that this work is for you, fill out the application form for my 1:1 Coaching and I will be in touch,